


Fortune Cookie

by Komodoroki



Category: Naruto
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Challenges, Comedy, Fortune Cookies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 21:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20264932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Komodoroki/pseuds/Komodoroki
Summary: "I'm just doing what the fortune cookie said, Kakashi... who am I to stand in the way of fate?"





	Fortune Cookie

Kakashi Hatake was not so easily deceived.

...or so he thought.

"I'm just doing what the fortune cookie said, Kakashi… who am I to stand in the way of fate?" Gai winked at him from across the table.

Kakashi choked on the wine he was sipping through his mask; he coughed and spluttered, gripping the table as he desperately tried to clear his throat. When he finally managed to compose himself, all he could do was stare dumbly at the man child seated at the other end of the table.

Now it all made sense. The five star restaurant. The expensive meal. The fine wine. The suave music. The rose staring him in the face from the small vase in front of his plate. The questioning stares from nearby patrons.

His eye twitched when he came to the realisation of what this _was_ and that it was all _his_ fault.

* * *

**Earlier That Day**

* * *

"No."

"Oh, come _on_, Kakashi! We have not embraced our rivalry in a very long while, and we are growing less youthful every day!" Gai exclaimed as he tagged behind Kakashi like a lost puppy through the busy streets of Konoha. "Let us proceed while we still have the energy!"

"No."

"Do not make me punch you into submission with my incredible fists of fury!"

_"Gai."_ Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation as he slowed to a stop outside of a small cafe. "We finished a challenge four days ago."

Gai frowned, clearly not understanding. "And your point is?"

"My _point_ is that I have better things to do with my time."

Like read Icha Icha.

Gai put a hand over his heart. "You wound me, Kakashi." He pouted and followed him inside, much to Kakashi's displeasure. He could feel Gai's intense stare burning into the back of his head, and the more he ignored him, the more heated that stare became. He was a volcano ready to explode and Kakashi knew the peaceful atmosphere of the cafe was about to be destroyed.

"I am more wounded than an impaled animal, my rival!"

The occupants of the cafe jumped in fright at the damn near deafening voice, and they suddenly found themselves the centre of attention.

Kakashi glared at the green clad moron from the corner of his eye. "Why don't you go and find a new rival for a while? I'm sure Asuma would be happy to-"

Strong hands clamped around his arms and spun him around so fast he was sure he'd developed whiplash. The hands then slammed down onto his shoulders with such force his legs almost gave out beneath him.

"One does not simply find a new rival!" Gai cried out in horror. Kakashi glanced up at the ceiling in annoyance and prayed that some higher force would fly down and pry the intense green beast off his shoulders. "It is fate that brings them together!" Kakashi cringed. "One challenge, Kakashi." He held up one finger. "One simple challenge and I _promise_ you will not see me for a week."

Kakashi eyed him suspiciously, then brought a finger to his masked lips as he pondered the idea. A Gai free week… interesting. There was a lot he could accomplish in a week. He would have more time to complete some paperwork, more time to help his students with the traini- _more time for Icha Icha. _

"Alright, you have a deal," Kakashi said, removing himself from Gai's grip and taking his place in line. "What's the challenge?"

Gai came up beside him, crossing his arms and grinning triumphantly. "Well you see, Kakashi… it is your turn to choose."

Kakashi let out a long, frustrated breath through his nose. Nothing was ever easy. With one last glare at his rival's smug face, he glanced around the cafe for inspiration. He felt the pressure when Gai began edging closer into his personal space with butt clenching anticipation. In his desperate attempt to think of a challenge so he could peace the fuck out, his eyes suddenly fell upon a box of fortune cookies that were placed near the cash register.

"Fortune cookies," he blurted dumbly, pointing at them. Gai looked at the box of cookies, then back at Kakashi with a raised eyebrow. "We both pick a fortune cookie," Kakashi said weakly. "Whatever the fortune cookie says, we have to make it come true. If you don't, you lose."

Regret crashed into Kakashi with the force of a tidal wave. He was an idiot. An absolute, colossal _idiot_. This challenge was supposed to be easy. His cookie could predict he'd end up on the _moon_, for all he knew.

He opened his mouth to take it back, but Gai gave him a hard smack on the back (which was actually intended to be a friendly pat), causing his teeth to bash closed with an audible _clack_.

"A great challenge, as expected from my rival!"

Kakashi worked his jaw in irritation, ran his tongue over his teeth to check for cracks as Gai enthusiastically reached for a fortune cookie. He then looked at Kakashi expectantly, oblivious to how Kakashi's returning look could salt fries for a week.

Once Kakashi grabbed his own cookie, Gai tore into his like a child on Christmas and then puffed out his chest. "A good friendship can often turn into a passionate romance," Gai finished with less bravado, frowning. Kakashi's eyes went wide and he almost laughed. Almost. "Interesting, interesting… but nothing is too big of a challenge for the incredible Might Gai! Now, what does yours say?" He asked curiously, leaning in close.

Kakashi looked down at his cookie with dread before cracking it open with unsteady fingers. "Go take a rest; you deserve it." Kakashi's heart jumped in utter joy as he stared down at his fortune. He didn't miss the envious look Gai gave him and he smirked, feeling rather smug. "Well, if you'll _excuse_ me, I'm going to order my food and then go home and _rest_, you know, because I _deserve_ it and all." Before he could turn away, his arm was snagged in a white knuckled fist.

"My challenge is quite different, as I'm sure you've noticed, and a challenge this tough requires a large amount of sustenance!" Gai exclaimed, gaining back a portion of his lost bravado. "How about you join me for a meal before you rest?"

Kakashi made a face. "I don't really-"

"I'll pay."

* * *

And so he was lured here like a dog to a bone with the promise of free food. Not one to turn down a free meal, he followed Gai to what looked to be one of the most expensive restaurants in the village.

He didn't question it. He was utterly ravenous.

They were escorted to one of the booths by the window and they sat down opposite one another. The waitress then walked over with her notepad, and after ordering their food, Gai quickly stood and whispered something into her ear, which caused her to blush and nod furiously.

Kakashi stared in confusion as she scurried away as fast as her legs could carry her. "What was that about?" He nodded his head in the direction she ran.

Gai simply sat back and crossed his arms, grinning. "You shall see soon enough, Kakashi," he said as if he were the villain in a bad movie.

Not a minute later, the waitress returned, still red faced, with a small vase holding a simple red rose. She set it down onto the table and then filled two glasses to the brim with the finest wine the restaurant had to offer.

"W-Would you like anything else?" She stuttered, becoming more and more flustered by the second.

"No, that is quite alright," Gai replied, then looked at Kakashi, quirking an eyebrow. "Unless my _good_ _friend_ Kakashi would like anything?"

Kakashi narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "...No, I'm okay." He looked at the waitress sidelong, wary. "Thank you." She bowed and quickly left to serve another table. His gaze then dropped down to the rose in front of him, scrutinising it. "What's the rose for?"

"Decoration." Gai brushed his fingers over the petals delicately. "A delicious meal would be nothing without the appropriate decor." Gai flashed him a tooth sparkling smile. "It looks rather youthful, does it not?"

"I guess…" Kakashi replied awkwardly, and with nothing more to add to the conversation, he flipped open his copy of Icha Icha to pass the time until their food arrived.

Twenty minutes passed and he could have sworn he heard angels sing the moment the waitress burst through the kitchen doors with their meals. He had only just gotten back from a mission before the green idiot jumped him on the street. He hadn't eaten all day, except for the odd ration now and then. He grabbed his chopsticks eagerly and practically inhaled his food, being careful to hide his face from view before sitting back in contentment with his glass of wine.

Gai finished his food too and sat back in his seat, smirking. "Did you enjoy your meal, Kakashi?"

Kakashi sipped his wine slowly before speaking. "Yes, thank you." Gai was laughing to himself at this point and Kakashi couldn't help but wonder if he'd missed something hilarious. "But I have to wonder… why would you pay so much? There are much cheaper places, you know."

Gai was grinning like a mad man at this point. "When a passionate romance blossoms, it should be within the confines of a romantic setting!"

That earned them a few startled glances.

Kakashi blinked. "A passionate wha-"

"I'm just doing what the fortune cookie said, Kakashi… who am I to stand in the way of fate?"

To say Kakashi was stunned was an understatement. Not once did the fortune cookie cross his mind because he never really thought it applied to _him_ of all people. That sneaky little-

"So how about it, Kakashi? Have you fallen _passionately_ in love with me yet?" Gai twirled his tall, elegant glass between his fingers, aura radiating confidence.

Kakashi stared at him dumbly for a long moment, then released a chuckle and shook his head. The things Gai would do to win a challenge… "Gai, you are too much." Finishing off his beverage, he climbed out of the booth and then glanced down at his smug friend. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and _rest_." Gai's expression faltered. "You have the amount of time it takes me to walk home to find someone who will fall in love with you. Thanks for the food." With an eye crinkle and a wave, Kakashi sauntered out of the restaurant, leaving a horrified and now broke Gai behind.

"I win." Kakashi smirked into his book as he walked away. 

* * *

** A/N: Just something I wrote back in 2015. Thought I'd post it here, remastered as of 16/08/19.**


End file.
